I never slept well the night before I had decided to let someone go. This was after stewing over the decision for much longer than was necessary or productive.

It took me a long time to recognize that the longer you delay, the more costly it is for you in terms of productivity, the damage to your nervous system and time lost from your principal goal of building an effective organization.

At the same time the longer you delay this uncomfortable task, the longer you are keeping that person from finding their right niche. If you’re not happy with their performance and you don’t feel the situation has any hope of resolution, letting them go is really in their best interest.

In retrospect, it is interesting to try to understand why I was so conflicted the night before I decided to terminate someone. To be honest, I’m sure most people would characterize me as a “confrontational person” so why did I dread these encounters?

My best guess is that my confrontational personality comes into play as a reaction to being challenged or by someone trying to intimidate me on an issue. When I had to initiate what could be a confrontational situation, I was less comfortable.

We used performance reviews every six months and I believe as imperfectly as we probably performed them, they were, in general, very helpful. Poor reviews were often received very defensively by employees. However by the time we got to a separation interview, 75 percent or more of the people knew it was coming.

Very few people were honestly surprised when you finally told them “this isn’t working”.

I usually waited until the end of the day to address this scene, hoping it would cause the least commotion. I’ve never been sure if that was the right time.

In one situation I was so tired from lack of sleep that as one employee droned on in their defense, I almost fell asleep.

In another situation I had a review with an employee who had performed sort of an O.K. job on a somewhat shorthanded event. At the same time she had demonstrated what I believed was inappropriate behavior with one of our clients. I was very tired after this long event and probably not thinking very clearly. During the review I offered her a raise and a bonus, but did not address the behavior, mostly because I didn’t know how.

After pacing the floor all night, I realized I had made a terrible mistake. She shouldn’t be rewarded.

The next day I admitted my mistake and told her I thought it best if she were to leave. It was my mistake, so I told her to keep the bonus and was generous in my offer to continue her salary for several months. One way or another you pay for your mistakes.

Any position of responsibility is never easy. There are some benefits to management positions of course, but there are tasks you do not enjoy as well.

What do you think?

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